While I sit here pumping while the boys nap....my mind and heart are RACING at the thoughts of all I have to do! I know that I have been a working Mama before...for me it is ALWAYS harder. I made the decision that my boys wouldn't suffer because I HAD to work. I mean, they would not sacrifice. I would do all I could to make it so that they get all the same things as if I was a stay-at-home Mama! BUT IT IS HARD! And, I know we are considered the "lucky" ones because I only work part time, have FREE day care from FAMILY, and because of all the time off I have with being a teacher. But, even with the "perks" I am stressed.
I have been off work for 8 months now...WHERE DID THE TIME GO?...and now we have two boys. I am trying to figure out how I am going to pump at work to keep up my milk supply for bug, make all his foods, keep getting up with him twice a night, continue to create a super close bond with him, keep teaching Mini all the things he needs to know, get him adjusted to me being away and deal with his separation anxiety (he is like his mama), keep up our crafts, get him to preschool, meet up for playdates, feed them dinner, get one on one time with each of them, make them feel special, keep the house clean, DO THE LAUNDRY, socialize with our friends, see our families, have time with the Hubby, provide a quality education for my students, and BREATH!
I have always dealt TERRIBLY with change and while this seem like EVERYthing is changing....I know we will adjust. I think that the absolute most important thing that I will ever do in this life is raise my boys....and I often worry that with so much to do, that I will some how fail them. I know none of us are perfect Mamas...I just hope that they never see me being Mrs. Pearce as a disadvantage to them and that they ALWAYS know they are my #1. If we could make it with me staying home....we would do it in a second. But, right now, this is how it is! I love my boys with every ounce of who I am and just pray....they ALWAYS feel and know this!
So...he is to becoming Mrs. Pearce again! Time to open the wine...seriously though...I think I need it already! :)